Which wolf are you feeding?
Two Wolves
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empahy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” - Cherokee Legend
I read this the other day and it had a profound effect on me. We all have a choice to make, we can choose to focus on the good or the bad. We can choose to feed our minds with the negative self-doubt, or to feed our minds with something positive. We can choose to fixate on something that has gone wrong, or to find a solution and take action. We can choose to have a fixed mindset where we believe we can never change or improve, or we can embrace a growth mindset where we believe that we can learn and grow and with time and practice we can improve and get better at things.
I know in the past I have been very guilty of feeding the bad wolf. When I struggle with self-doubt I get drawn into a downward cycle, where everything can feel awful and I can stack the negatives on top of each other so even things that would otherwise be inconsequential, when lumped in with other things become part of a monumental issue with myself. I feel sorry for my husband because for every positive he gives me, I can throw five negatives back of why I am so crap! When I’m in that negative place I feed it and the more I do, the hungrier it gets and the more and more food I can find to keep it going.
I can’t give you a definitive reason why one day I suddenly chose that the self-doubt wasn’t going to hold me back anymore. I didn’t have an epiphany or a near-death experience, or anything as cool or dramatic as that. When I trained as a coach I had to do a lot of self-analysis and personal development, and I think over time I decided for myself that I wanted something different - I wanted an extraordinary life. I decided that feeling the way I was feeling, and constantly putting myself down didn’t feel good and ultimately wasn’t going to serve me well in the long run. If time is going to pass anyway, I wanted to spend it feeling good and achieving things that developed me, challenged me and made me happy. So I started to focus on different things and decided to try different behaviours, consciously challenging and changing my thoughts and focus.
If you are ready to start feeding the good wolf, I applaud you! It isn’t always easy and with our penchant for the negativity bias, it does mean this takes work and effort, but it is worth it (click here to read more about my thoughts on cultivating a positive mental attitude)!
If you would like some support in your own journey in overcoming self-doubt, deepening self-awreness and building your self-confidence, please feel free to check out the coaching packages I offer here and, if you think I can help you, book a free online meeting for us to chat through any questions you may still have. Alternatively, if you are more about finding the answers yourself, check out my book, Live A Big Life In A Quiet Way, to see if this helps you to shortcut your success!
