What is stopping you?

We all have those friends that talk about their future, that talk about moving to their ideal home, in their ideal location, that talk about taking up an amazing hobby, that talk about meeting new people, that talk about changing their career path and finding their life purpose, that talk about being in a better financial position, that talk about running a marathon, that talk about finding happiness, that talk about going travelling. 

They talk about it a lot. You know they want it, but why haven’t they achieved it?

Lack of confidence? Fear of the unknown? Fear of going outside of their comfort zone? 

Maybe. 

But what if they continue to just talk about it?

They will get older. But if nothing changes, then they may live their whole life having never reached their full potential. 

For me, it is that fear, the fear that I might waste my life, that means I pursue my goals. I never want to have regrets so I make plans and I move forward.

If you want to help a friend do the same you can ask them what the one thing they are doing right now is, to help them get to their goal. Be genuinely interested and supportive. When your friends have big goals, helping them break them down into the ‘next step’, or ‘just one thing’ they need to focus on, or start doing consistently, can help them move out of the talking cycle and into action.

For example, if your friend has the dream of living abroad you can ask her:

• When do you want this to happen by - this year, next year, in 10 years?

• What will achieving this goal create for you?

Moving abroad or taking a year out to travel is a goal many of my clients have. Some of them state they want something different for themselves; they don’t want to keep living the same year, the same life, over and over; they want to experience living in a different culture; they want to prove to themselves that there’s a life outside the norm; they feel there is something missing in their life and satisfying their itchy feet will fill this for them.

Maybe your friend is the same, or maybe they have a different reason (or a different goal) but getting them to talk about it, to make it really real for them is the first step. Then you can say to them that if they really want this, they can make it happen!

This can be difficult to hear sometimes but we are all empowered to make changes in our life. Yes, it may seem scary to them now. Yes, they may not know how to make the journey happen. But you’ve helped them make an important decision - they want to make a change, they know why it is important to them, and they owe it to themselves to follow through on this. 

Ask them what the step today is they need to take to start moving this forward. Maybe they need to get the facts and figures together. Maybe they need to stop scrolling through Instagram and start researching where they want to move to. Maybe they need to look into the visa requirements, or any current Covid restrictions or requirements, or look at the cost of living, or find forums where people have already done what they are looking to do and see how they did it. Maybe they need to sort their own finances. Maybe they need to book an Airbnb holiday to the destination to check for their ideal location. Maybe they need to tell their parents they are looking to move. Maybe they need to buy some jumpers or bikinis or other appropriate clothing for their new home! 

Brainstorming all options, regardless of how silly they may seem, is a great way to help your friend get out of their current way of thinking and to create some fresh perspectives for them to make the changes they want in their life.

Once they have the information they need, they can decide on the next step. It is these small steps that start to create momentum which then creates plans which then gets the results they are looking for.

And how great will you feel knowing you helped someone achieve their life ambitions?