5 types of imposter - which one are you?

If you suffer with the imposter syndrome, you are likely to find you have an unrealistic view of how well you think you should do something because your expectations about yourself are unrealistically high. You judge yourself on this warped view of what you think your competence in a particular area should be. 

In her book, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, Valerie Young outlines how these unrealistic views can lead to five ‘types’ of imposter emerging and I share some ideas to help you reframe your thinking, if you identify with any of these.

Rugged Individualist

You think you should be able to do everything on your own. You see asking for help as a weakness, and if you ever do need to ask for help, you feel like an imposter as you see it as evidence that you are not competent, and you obviously don’t know what you are doing, because you need additional support. The risk is you take on too much, you overwork to get everything done yourself, and you never state your needs or requirements, because you don’t want to seem like you can’t cope.

You have the right to ask for help if you need it. You have the right to be part of a team and it is okay that they have different and complementary skills, experience and knowledge to you. You have the right to feel proud of how you have contributed to team successes and that the team achievement is a demonstration of your competence.

“Competence doesn’t mean knowing how to do everything yourself. Instead, competence means knowing how to identify the resources needed to get the job done.” - Valerie Young

Superwoman 

You have to be able to juggle multiple roles, do everything well by yourself, and then compare yourself [unfavourably] to others. You measure your success and if you are good enough by how much you can get done during the day. When you don’t get it all done you punish yourself. Anytime you don’t do everything [well], you feel you have let yourself and others down by not getting everything done. The feelings of being an imposter emerge because you think if were really competent you would be able to do it all. The risk is you will exhaust yourself by spreading yourself too thin, trying to be all things to all people. 

This is largely a cultural creation where individuals that ‘do it all’ are publicly admired. Letting go of people-pleasing and finding your own self-worth standards means you can learn to say no and live a life you truly love, on your terms.

“Oh, dear--did I forget to mention that you can, indeed, have it all, but you need a lot of help!” - Will Schwalbe

Natural Genius 

If you can’t pick something up easily and immediately when you first try it, you feel there must be something wrong with you. You think you should be able to do things straight away and when you can’t, you feel that you are an imposter as you are not good enough and a more competent individual would be able to do the task at hand easily. You expect to be the best effortlessly - if you are starting a new job you have the expectation to be a top performer within weeks; if you are studying you have the expectation that you will understand the concepts and achieve A’s on your assignments. You risk limiting your own progress and potential because you have a fixed mindset that you either can do something or you can’t and may give up on something before allowing yourself a chance to try, and improve.

Skills can be learnt. Competence is about having the capacity to learn and develop a skill. You can become competent in any skill if you allow yourself the time and effort to learn, practice, make mistakes, learn from these mistakes and practice some more.

“If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful after all.” - Michelangelo

Expert 

You often feel you cannot move on or go for a promotion until you have achieved another qualification, or gained a defined (and not necessary) level of additional experience, or you may feel you can’t share a view or opinion until you have read another book on the topic or done extra research. You feel like an imposter as your inner voice is telling you that if you were really competent you would know and understand everything about your chosen field of expertise. You can feel intimidated by others that have been doing a similar role or you perceive as having more experience and you risk not speaking up as you feel you are not expert enough to share your thoughts, or fear being wrong.

I believe in life-long learning, and I believe there is always more to learn but that doesn’t mean you cannot consider yourself an expert, and trust in the knowledge, skills and experience you have already acquired. There is continuous professional development (CPD) in the majority of professions, and these requirements remain across all experience levels.

“We can have all the knowledge in the world, but it means nothing without the wisdom to know what to do with it.” - Marie Osmond

Perfectionist 

You have a need, and put pressure on yourself, to do everything right and to an exceptionally (and unrealistically) high standard. When you fail to do something to this high standard you believe you must be an imposter, because if you weren’t you would be able to do things to that level. To you, anything below the top rating, whether that is a distinction on a test, or an ‘exceeds expectations’ at an end-of-year review, means failure and your inner critic takes over with harsh berating words. You then risk not pushing yourself in future as the need to be 100% on anything you do means you are more likely to stick within your comfort zone to be able to achieve your high standards.

I am an advocate of holding yourself to a high standard, but to also be realistic - you are human, you will make mistakes, there are learning curves when trying new things, sometimes 70% is good enough.

“Perfectionism has nothing to do with getting it right. It has nothing to do with having high standards. Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead.” - Jennifer White

[To read more about perfectionism, how it can impact you and how to let go of this, click here.]

So, which one of these resonates most with you? Are one or two more dominant for you or do you feel you are an equal mixture of them all? I would love for you to share and for us to start the conversation to normalise these imposter syndrome feelings.